However deeper the carvings of suffering dig into your heart,

if you learn to allow yourself to allow the phantoms of your heart to be experienced again in the moment,

There brings a chance to reconsider the weight of that pain.

A chance to forgive and accept it for good.

part of that phantom is resurrected, if not entirely.

Each time, even if it’s a little bit, there is a warmth of peace,

so rare and sweet to you alone

You can become addicted to emotional breakthough’s.

and This addiction, ironically, is Most often a powerful enchantment of self-healing.

It’s a hard devotion, but the war can always be won.

There came a week where nobody could fully trust their own sanity. They feared their own truth and dreams, and Became paranoid of their potential. This same week also fueled their creativity. The little ideas came to realization, and even some became overwhelmed in their grand ‘What If’s of Everything.

How do we handle such a week? What if this were to go on for a whole damn month?

I guess we’re gonna find out.

Photosynthesis takes in light.

planets are studied with spectrograph to receive specific ranges of light that represents the type of material the body is made of.

To see light is to receive light.

if there is a photosynthesis-like phenomenon in human [mammal?] biology at work, then the light absorbed at the time of birth very well could have a physical influence on the person.

Astrology could really be a defined structure of this effect.

cccreative fool
He Set his wallpaper as
a picture of the same corner his computer is set up in, where he sits.
Taken in bad light.
Remembering the structure of language within the reaches of conscious memory,
he finds spark to stay sharp,
as if being told to.
He views the screen and see’s a user interface for
the game of Life [an unreasonably annoying name].
but now he can pay attention to himself,
at least a little bit closer to how well he can pay attention to others.

A method for keeping shit together?

is it worth the routine?

"It ain’t stupid if it works"

they remain under liimits

ah well. it’s all madness anyway

Is it a thing

where the heart has been damaged by heart-break, leaving a scabrous shell over it, deadening the ability to feel from the heart at all. and when you eventually find someone who can pull love out through the cracks of that shell, it resembles pain more than joy, at least at first…
It’s such a fierce chemical reaction, leaving you no room for an appetite until the love can erode through the shell into freedom of heart.
Nothing else matters while you burn like this.


They struck a notion in their dreaming: an Action! a Powerful & Heartfelt attempt at grasping control over their very own reality to eventually reach an Intended Reality Paradise Location!

like grabbing a cloud

to insist a reality so intensely

that a disturbance in their every-dimensional location in the Universe is effected so that their Intended Reality Paradise Location becomes THE Destination for said Every-Dimensional Dis-Location!

{so, then that becomes reality, and I guess it could technically be legit. right?}

Yes, that’s right Jimmy, now Step right up and we’ll begin testing, shall we?

{{Scene 2}}

without hesitation, their first attempt was a reality in which a welcoming dish of Thai Food appeared on their favorite table spot, STEAMIN’, and DELICIOUS!

{{You Imagine This Part}}

but before they could enchant such a powerful spell, they just laughed it off and continued their life of ignoring yet one more wisp of potential inside.

A Wisp of Potential?

Trying to Shine?

Trying to Save them?!

This sparkly Wisp of Potential is a natural human creation as a madly efficient system structure in the brain’s neural network forming so that it is known of and referenced to by largely the rest of the entire network for a significant amount of time in their reality.

{{n’ stuff}}

Would they ever find a way to Really Live in the Now?

Curse, or Terms of Service?

I have a constant need to organize "all that I have" routinely to sustain my sanity.

This can be as literal as words go, or [it] can be used as a task for any conceptual horde along the micro scale. [Macro scale would probably be more along the lines of infinity]

So, here I am re-organizing my bedroom once again.

Questioning Everything

what gives?

For the uncountable times I’ve fallen into this notch of thought, I don’t seem to have figured out how to get myself through it with the dreamed brilliance I wish for. I’m pretty sure this is the Existential Crisis I hear about, usually in the form of jokes from people experiencing it. My soul too often feels claustrophobic and trapped in this Human Body. Like the Paradigm most certain of itself: Faith; It collides within me as I have ventured into life with the notion of Questioning Everything.

This doesn’t seem like a mental routine worth repeating. It overwhelms my decision making, leaving the ability to ‘Get things done’ hesitative, slow, and — Maybe it’s something more than an Idea. More than the development of Trust.


There may be an innate necessity that doesn’t get the same stage-time as The need to drink and eat. The Need to Trust can only contribute to whatever use we get from it as long as it is nourished, and practiced. Faith is a level of Trust, usually in the Supreme Something that is like a god.

{I just bit my own lip, that shit sucks}

Having Focusing my efforts to learn the universe objectively in Questioning Everything, my faith in any religion was scooped up and set aside {on my shoulder}. For the last Decade, I have sadly ignored my little heap of faith. It was always right there on my shoulder, but I never heard it. that is, I never knew who was speaking it’s cries.

Looking back, I think I found ways to place some faith wherever I could.

  • Music — It’s always been a force of magic in my life experience. The beauty of it, the Power it has over Everything, and the endless possibilities to be composed.
  • Friends — These are some of the most fundamental connections we can keep in a healthy life, as it leads to forming a Family, regardless of any situational context of marriage and children. I mean Brothers and Sisters, and our greatest allies. This I believe is a natural outlet for Faith as we have it, and It’s helped me along this far.
  • A Better World — I mean you know.
  • Love — This hasn’t been as much of an outlet as I’d wish it could be, but To Love someone with all the warmth of your heart is a Locking of Trust. It can be very strong.

there is still a lot of Faith sitting un-used.

It needs to get out.

this might be a common problem with people who grew up in a religious mono-culture, and have now left for reasons their own.

I would think we can get past this symptom of damage, however it likely can never be easy.

I refuse to stay Broken.

Let the Faith out, and the power of benevolence will ignite life again.